Reflections regarding Thursday January 30, 2025 in Agra, India

We had just finished a fifteen-hour train ride to Agra that was supposed to be thirteen hours, and we were exhausted and starving. Our tour coordinator, Sharukh, met us at the train station and helped us bring our bags to a very lovely van that was far above our budget. We soon learned we would only have the luxury of this vehicle for an hour. Ah well, that made sense. As soon as we approached the car, children rushed us begging for food and money. It was painful to ignore their pleading eyes. Although hard, we reminded our children that we weren’t going to be giving snacks or money to begging children because we had chosen to focus on donating to organizations that work on systemic change. Packed in like sardines, we drove to breakfast where the boys devoured pancakes, omelets, crepes, and croissants. Nothing like a good western meal to quash our hunger.

When we arrived at our hotel, our rooms weren’t ready. We wondered if this would be a theme of our time in India. There, we met Ramesh, the head of the tour company who has given tours of the Taj Mahal (pronounced Taj Ma-hel in India) to many VIPs, including several former U.S. presidents. Though we were not as important, he treated us so well, giving us a glimpse into what it might be like to be a VIP. Ramesh explained that no gas vehicles are permitted into Taj City. One has to enter by foot or by an electric group golf cart like at Disney or Universal Studios. Given how tired we were from our travels, we opted for the golf cart.

Taj City was packed with tourists and religious pilgrims alike. The men’s security was so long I waited a full ten minutes for Ramesh, Chaim, and the boys to emerge. Once through, we made our way to the Taj Mahal, stopping for pictures according to Ramesh’s suggestions. At one point, he even took “wedding photos” of Chaim and me. Nowadays, every tour guide doubles as a photographer, too. The boys thought our photo session was hilarious.

The Taj Mahal’s overall grandeur, size, inlaid marble, and symmetry make it overwhelmingly breathtaking. It is one of the few world sites we have visited that cannot be fully captured in a photograph. Ramesh explained that the architects and engineers used several illusion tricks to make the building appear as symmetrical as possible. As a non-engineer, I was floored by the idea that one would need illusions to create symmetry. Chaim, of course, just nodded and said, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Despite our exhaustion, everyone did their best to listen to Ramesh recount the history of the Taj Mahal, which he shared with such passion and pride.

The Taj Mahal was built in the 17th century by the Mughal Shah Jahan in memory of his favorite wife Mumtaz Mahal who died in childbirth. It took about twenty years to create what is there now, except for the gardens which were changed during British Colonial rule. Although it is considered a testament to Muslim artistry, Ramesh explained that the shah hired people from so many different backgrounds that the building is a mixture of designs influenced by Turkish, Ottoman, Middle Eastern, and Indian architecture. To preserve the mausoleum, visitors visit a replica of the mausoleum in the inner room. The real mausoleum is just below and reserved for the real VIPs – like those U.S. presidents he worked with previously. The decorations and filigree are all made by gems inlaid in the marble. The handiwork is astonishing.

One of the interesting experiences there was having to put booties over our shoes before entering the mausoleum. According to the signs, we had the “privilege” of helping clean the Taj Mahal. How thoughtful of them! I could have stayed for hours roaming the grounds, circling the Taj Mahal to explore the marble structure with its ornate gemstone filigree, but the boys were exhausted. Alas, we walked back to our hotel, checked in, and had some down time where I promptly passed out.

After a later lunch (where Matanel and Eitan were all of a sudden open to trying all kinds of yummy fish dishes), the boys and I met up with Ramesh again, leaving Chaim behind so he could get some work done.

Ramesh took us to Agra Fort[EL1] , also known as the Red Fort. It was built by the Mughal emperor Akhbar in the 16th century and later used by Aurangzeb to imprison his father, Shah Jahan (who had commissioned the Taj Mahal), after executing his own brother Dara Shikoh to ensure his own ascension to the Peacock Throne. When we reached Agra Fort, we had to walk along a single, narrow road lined with high walls on either side affixed with small spouts. Ramesh explained this was to pour hot oil onto the road to thwart any enemy attackers. By all accounts, the defense system has never been used. Ramesh explained that the high walled entrance warned the boys that there are monkeys around who like to attack visitors with food. Obviously, that meant the boys were focused on avoiding rampaging monkeys more than anything else Ramesh told them.

As we walked around, I was astounded by how large the fort was. It was more than a fort; it was a large village that could host 3,000 people easily. Every time I visit a castle, a fort, a shrine, I am astounded by how large and all-encompassing these spaces were. I often find myself grasping to visualize what life was like during the historical period and failing spectacularly. About an hour later, the boys were ready to collapse. On our way out we witnessed a monkey dash right up to a man carrying a soda bottle to snatch it from his hand. Terrified, the man shrieked and flung his bottle across the yard. The monkey bolted for the bottle, grabbed it, and scampered to the rooftop where he unscrewed the bottle top and thoroughly enjoyed his trophy.

Back at the hotel, we attempted journaling to round out our day. That was an idiotic hope on my part as the boys were exhausted and unravelling quickly. Instead, their behavior was less than ideal, leading to them using me as a punching bag for mean jokes. What on earth was I thinking?!? But at the time, and in my own state of exhaustion, I lost my cool and said some things I should never have said. To which the boys then told me I’m angry all the time. Man, they really know how to push all of my buttons and give me a great guilt trip. Not a good parenting moment. Thankfully, we had two rooms at this hotel, and I was able to cool off in the other room.

That evening, after a long reset and break from one another, we went to the rooftop where we were told we’d get to see a puppet show. We waited an hour for the show to start, which was highly frustrating. Let’s just say it wasn’t the kind of puppet show we had expected. It was a one-man merchant trying to sell his dolls. The show itself was five minutes, but the boys thought it was great. The fake snake even made them jump when it popped out of the curtain. To the puppeteer’s great dismay, we did not buy any of his dolls. To my great dismay, the cost-benefit analysis of our wait time to show time was unfortunate.

That night, Chaim and I wondered about our last-minute choice to stay in Agra for only one night before traveling again. But I was convinced we did not want to be stuck in a hotel or walking around a city where an entrance fee was necessary for everything on Shabbat. We packed up our items and went to sleep.