Ruminations upon Saturday April 26, 2025 in Kobe, Japan
Our second morning in Japan was Shabbat, and the jet lag was real. Everyone slept in late. Well, I tried. The light streaming through the bedroom window at 5:00 a.m. woke me. I spent the next five hours semi-awake, appreciating being in a comfortable, warm bed in a silent house.
When we finally arrived at shul, Matanel and Shai immediately ran off to play with their new friends from Friday night dinner. While traveling, we never really knew if there would be kids for our boys to play with. Having similarly aged children who were excited to play with our boys, and with whom our boys were equally excited to play, felt huge. Chaim and I were thrilled for the twins and appreciated Eitan’s willingness to make the most of it as well, even if his playmates were closer to his younger brothers’ ages.
After lunch, Amichai spent the afternoon playing Uno with the 20-plus singles crowd and won. He was living his best life, enjoying the camaraderie and witty banter, especially when a few of them dropped choice words we don’t allow in our house. At those moments, he would give me a sideways glance with a mischievous smile, wondering if I could hear them. Of course I could. Sometimes a parent has to play it cool and let their kid spread his wings a little. I knew we would debrief later. Besides, getting that kind of social time with older peers, and not younger siblings, was critical for Amichai.
At some point, I was invited to play cards with a few of the older with a few of the older professionals, who were still plenty young.
They were sweet, hilarious, and kind, but wow did I feel my age.
One of our new friends from shul, Jake, is a frum (religiously observant) tour guide in Japan. He offered to take everyone to Nabokini Waterfalls, about a twenty-minute walk from the shul and a Kobe highlight.
Nabokini Waterfalls are a small but well-loved local spot, tucked into a wooded area just outside the city. The path is easy and clearly marked, making it accessible for families and casual walkers, and the payoff is a quiet, shaded cascade that feels surprisingly removed from urban life. It’s the kind of place that locals recommend without much fanfare.
Walking the trail, I realized why Japanese garden art often leans toward what I once thought were exaggerated bluish tones. The art isn’t stylized in that way. It’s observational. There is a blue hue present throughout the landscape itself, in the water, the stone, the shadows, even the air. That cool tone settles the eye and the body at the same time, creating a calm that feels less designed and more absorbed. It stayed with me more than the waterfalls did.
The walk was lovely, in part because so many young adults eagerly watched my boys during the excursion. Their kindness created space for me to linger in conversation with new acquaintances, uninterrupted, and to check in with myself, breathe, and notice my surroundings, including the blue hue that seemed to settle over everything.
Most of all, I appreciated that Jake offered my boys a different kind of frum male role model, one they don’t encounter every day. They are fortunate to have many meaningful religious role models in their lives, but it had been a while since they had spent time with someone who was not only clearly observant, but also actively figuring out how to remain frum while moving through parts of the world where that is not always easy, especially when it comes to kashrut and Shabbat. I don’t know what level of observance each of our children will choose as they grow older. Knowing they have encountered role models across a wide spectrum of religious practice, who approach the world with curiosity, intention, and commitment, feels deeply encouraging.
Jake made sure our group returned to the Jewish Center in time for seudat shlishit, the third Shabbat meal. After Havdalah, the ritual end of Shabbat, Jake shared that he could tell our boys have a sense of worldliness and an ease with different kinds of people that felt notable for their age. Developing that kind of social awareness and adaptability has been one of our goals in choosing to travel as a family. Hearing someone outside our family name it out loud meant a great deal. It shifted us from quietly wondering whether we were meeting those goals to clearly seeing our boys applying these skills in their everyday interactions.
We enjoyed being with Jake so much that he offered to take us to Nara Park later that week. Watching our boys’ faces light up, I realized how rare it is, while traveling, to stumble into a connection that feels easy, mutual, and worth extending. They had found someone they genuinely wanted to spend more time with.
