These things occurred on Thursday August 8, 2024 in Kingston Upon Thames, England
Bleary eyed and ready to vomit from the stench that only I could smell because my face had been mere inches from the toilet tank all night, I woke up hoping that today would be a better day for our toilet. But before that could happen, I sent all the boys to the mechanic’s boat to use the bathroom. Thank goodness that boat’s offices opened at 7:00AM. If we had had to wait another hour we might have had to take Mr. A up on his suggestion to use a bucket. After our toilet run and pan toasted bread breakfast, the boys played Prez, their new favorite card game thanks to Uncle Ilan. They were in heaven and loving the houseboat vibe, which felt a lot like camping. The lack of a functional toilet still did not bother them in the least.
Our plans for the day included making sure the mechanic was able to come and pump out the toilet while we were out, meet up with Carine - a very good friend of mine from my gap year – and Simo who were driving in from London to spend the day with us at Hampton Court Palace, and for Chaim and I to make our respective work meetings that were scheduled for that evening. Once Carine and Simo arrived, we set off on a forty-minute walk around the Thames to Hampton Court Palace. Our forty-minute walk very quickly turned into ninety-minutes because Simo spotted wild blackberries that he deemed edible along the way. The boys could not get enough of them and the five of them (Simo included) kept stopping every few yards to pick more berries. Many of the berries were mouthwatering sweet, others were exceedingly tart.
Just as we were about to leave the riverside path to head inward, I spotted a royal deer enclave that looked like it could be a shortcut. I figured it would be fun to see the deer run around while we made our way to the palace. Weirdly, it was also a golf course. Chaim was opposed to taking this shortcut, but we headed inside anyway. A few minutes later, Simo ran through a large patch of stinging nettle and stopped to teach the boys about the plant. Stinging nettle is the English version of American poison ivy. It’s everywhere and when touched by bare skin can cause an allergic reaction that feels like electric shocks and itches. As soon as Carine heard that there was stinging nettle in the area, she took a quick look around, picked a dock leaf, and began rubbing it on Simo’s skin. Dock leaf is a natural antidote to stinging nettle; its sap a natural soothing agent to the nettle’s stings. The boys were floored. An impromptu science lesson was taking place with Simo and Carine at the helm.
Our science lesson over, we continued walking through the enclave, a little more aware of the plants by our feet. Eventually, we came upon an exit that looked similar in style to the entrance we had taken. I said aloud, to apparently no one, that this would probably be our exit. Unbeknownst to me, no one had heard me, so I misunderstood their walking as disagreement. On we went until we reached the back side of Hampton Court Palace. We were separated by a large fence, topped with spears to prevent trespassers. We backtracked to the exit I had seen and made our way out of the enclave and onto the road.
Hampton Court Palace is a 500-years old Tudor palace that became the “pleasure palace” for Henry VIII and his six wives. At the palace, Chaim bought a one-year membership that would give us access to the Tower of London, too. We knew we were going the following week and a membership for a family of six was only five more pounds than paying for all of us individually. After a much-needed toilet break, we made a beeline for the Hedge Maze. Well, it was supposed to be a beeline. Instead, we all got distracted by the Rose Garden. Amichai stopped to smell every rose, comparing each scent and wondering if roses of different colors have different smells. We decided the answer is yes. He preferred the more subtle scented flowers which tended to be lighter in color. About twenty minutes later, we found the Hedge Maze. The boys had a blast playing a form of hide-and-seek tag in the maze.
We stopped at the café and purchased the only vegetarian options available. The boys must have been starving because they all tried new foods and devoured what they tried. I tried a flapjack for the first time and to my surprise I quite enjoyed it. After refueling, we visited the kitchens. The size of the kitchens was overwhelming and the quantity of food they must have prepared when the palace was full was mindboggling. I could almost feel the gluttony in the air. The boys were fascinated by the menus they found. As sticklers for correct spelling, they were thrown by the interesting spellings they saw on the menu. I tried to explain how there was no standardized spelling back then, but they just scoffed and said “well, that’s dumb.”
As we exited the kitchen area we passed through the courtyard just as a two person reenactment began. Everyone was ready to move on except Eitan who found the two actresses riveting. The rest of our party moved on to learn about Henry VIII and his wives while I sat with Eitan in the courtyard to watch Queen Victoria I and Sophia Duleep Singh debate the merits of suffragettes. Sophia was the goddaughter of Queen Victoria who was a deeply committed suffragist and daughter of the deposed Maharaja Duleep Singh. Fortuitously, I had spent the summer trying to learn as much as I could about India’s history, which is deeply intertwined with the British Empire’s. The dialogue sounded like it was lifted straight from the podcast. When the play finished, Eitan exclaimed, “That was really good! What was it about?” As we walked to catch up with the others, I explained the multilayered conversation that had transpired: women’s rights, gender equality, racism, and classism based on race and area of origin.
Around 4:00PM, Chaim reminded me that I had a 5:00PM meeting and we still had a 45 minute walk home. We said our goodbyes to Carine and Simo who opted to stay at the palace a little longer and we began a much faster walk home. In fact, Shai and I ran walked the whole way home. He was a real trooper. We made it back with fifteen minutes to spare. I quickly made myself look somewhat respectable (which really just means putting on mascara and throwing my hair up into a nicer looking ponytail) and gathered my computer and backpack. Just as I was finished packing up, Chaim walked in the door with the other boys. I raced out to the center of town, a five minute walk away, and frantically entered a coffee shop that had a lot of stacked chairs. I asked if I could take a chair and the kind men behind the counter let me sit in the back for my meeting while they cleaned up the shop. They even brought me a tea on the house. I was forever grateful. About an hour into my meeting, I had to move locations because the shop was closing. I moved outside and finished up. Except for background noise and unplugging my computer, my background filter made me look like I was in the same place the whole time. When my meeting ended, I popped into a small market to buy a few items for the next morning’s breakfast and rushed home so that Chaim could make his meetings.
Meanwhile, back on the houseboat we enjoyed a functional toilet because the mechanic, who will now be known as Mr. G, had come earlier in the day to pump it out. Mr. G was lovely, friendly, and most of all helpful. He spoke with Chaim while I was out and explained that Mr. A had, in fact, given us the wrong instructions for maintaining the houseboat, which is why the fridge wasn’t working properly, the toilet was backing up, and the water might be spurting. Oh, and we shouldn’t turn on the lights because the electrical wiring for the boat was terrible.
While Chaim was out, the boys enjoyed what was quickly becoming known as creative screentime. Since there was no WiFi on the boat, all of the boys discovered a creative music app on their iPads and were making some really clever music. It was fun listening to them joyfully play their beats for each other and feeling really proud of their creations. After some screentime they played Prez for the umpteenth time and then got ready for bed.
It was Eitan’s turn to sleep in the loft bed. Just as he was supposed to shut down for the night, he complained he was itchy. I climbed into his bed, which was not so easy with the mattress hanging over the edge. I discovered a rash on his skin and called my sister (thank you Dr. Shira!). I had to get out of his bed to get the hydrocortisone for his rash. As I attempted to climb back in again, the stool wobbled from underneath me and the overhanging mattress buckled under my weight. My night ended with what felt like a near death experience falling out of a houseboat loft bed. Eitan laughed and said, “Mommy, that was sad. Just sad. I mean I feel bad for you kind of, but it was also funny.” With my heart thumping, I went to bed.