Reflections regarding Sunday March 30, 2025 until Monday March 31, 2025 in Hoi An, Vietnam
Since arriving in Vietnam, Chaim had been keeping both a regular 9-5 work schedule and a 9:00-11:00PM shift to match New York hours. I felt pressure to cram in as many possible experiences on our one non-travel Sunday in Hoi An, so that Chaim could spend time with the boys and see the area.
A Rainy Start in Hoi An
This Sunday ended up being much colder and rainier than it had been all week and the day started off with a very hangry Eitan. Not quite the way I envisioned our one Sunday together going. We pushed forward anyway, hoping the day would improve.
Our first destination was the Marble Mountains which are a network of caves and Buddhist temples and pagodas with incredible stonework inside and outside the caves. As soon as we arrived, we made a beeline to a café where we hoped against all hope that we could find something for Eitan to eat. The only thing Eitan would consider was the fresh mango that wasn’t technically on the menu. We ordered three giant cut up mangoes and one equally enormous cut up apple. Everyone agreed that these were the best mangoes we’d had all year, and we’d had A LOT of mangoes. All of the boys devoured the fruit. Blood sugar in check we made our way to the Marble Mountains entrance.
Lessons from the Marble Mountains
The Am Phu caves are a big attraction, but we skipped them. They focus on demonic creatures and depict the depravity of humanity in myriad ways, including forms of torture, murder, and sexual encounters. Our children did not need to see, yet. Still, a few pieces appear in the main caves. At first the boys were curious. When they realized something was a bit off about the statues, all of them agreed this wasn’t appropriate for them and it was better to move on. As these kinds of experiences often do, the encounter led them to wonder why people hurt others or choose to engage in unsavory behaviors. Chaim and I wondered the same thing.
Although we couldn’t sufficiently answer their questions, we used the opportunity to discuss the Buddhist notion of yin-yang and a dualistic view of the world at an age-appropriate level for the boys. It helped that the tenets of Buddhism were written on the cave walls. This gave us an opportunity to learn more about Buddhism’s emphasis on finding balance. Many Buddhist beliefs felt familiar to our Jewish senses. Choose good over evil, maintain balance, strive to improve, and always be a lifelong learner.
Although the caves are enormous on the inside, walking through the caves requires climbing up and down many narrow, curved, and unguarded two-way staircases carved into the caves. Someone with acrophobia and/or claustrophobia might choose to avoid. We also had opportunities to climb to the top of the mountain via a scramble climb through narrow caves. Matanel was scared, but he remembered the magical claws he “grew” back in Israel on Masada and did just fine. The top was beautifully serene and inspired a feeling of Zen. It was completely worth having sore legs after.
Markets, Missteps, and Lanterns
After, we caught a ride to the Chabad House to enjoy some much-needed meat. From there, we walked to Old Town – the artsy and more tourist focused part of town – to explore the famous Hoi An market. The goal had been to meander, buy some exotic fruits to try at home, and light floating lanterns. We picked a less-than-ideal day to visit. It was crowded and the weather was grey with light rain.
Buying fruit was the easy part. There were so many stores selling delicious (and strange to our Westerner’s eyes) looking fruit. We bought longan, java apples, sugar apples, and mangosteen. We were all excited to try them when we got home.
Then, things went sideways. Chaim and I ended up having a miscommunication over how to spend our time, which left everyone feeling confused, leading the boys to whine and the adults to feel irritable. Street merchants kept approaching with lantern boat ride offers. Chaim despises being approached, while I see it as a chance to negotiate. Our opposite instincts clashed, and the boys felt it. Frustrated and at an impasse, we took a break from exploring to play at a small playground set up with playground versions of stilt houses the kids could climb on.
A young girl, about ten years old, ran right up to us. She immediately said “Hello. You speak English?” When responded in English, she lit up and started a conversation with us. She was elated to be able to practice her English with us. It was adorable. The boys were shocked and also impressed.
When we were finally ready for our lantern ride, Eitan fretted that we were polluting (the already very polluted) river. He was right to fret. We probably should have thought about it beforehand. Chaim did a quick search on his phone, which suggested that the government requires the river be “raked” and lanterns cleaned up every night. Otherwise, the city incurs a fine. This assuaged him, sort of. Sufficed to say he was not a happy camper on the boat, and I had begun feeling guilty as well.
On a clear night, the whole river lights up, the lanterns glowing like fireflies on the water. Our night was grey and misty, but our lanterns looked beautiful floating on the river. After, Matanel and Shai asked our boat driver if they could drive the boat. He happily obliged and they were in heaven.
As we walked back through the market, Matanel was desperate for a toy – he is always eager to buy something new even though we’ve spent this year avoiding buying tchotchkes as much as possible. We permitted so long as the boys used their own money. Matanel and Shai bought cute knit turtles that doubled as tape measures. It was perfect for their second grade measuring unit they had just started. As soon as we left the store, Matanel continuously tugged on his tape measure. As expected, it broke a few minutes later.
The market also contains a plethora of art. Chaim has no interest in buying “ethnic” art, but I love street art and art depicting local scenes from all of the world. I find it to be humanizing and a good reminder of how similar we all are at the end of the day. Eventually, I chose a small piece of art that reminded me of the serenity of Hoi An on the water.
After the boys went to sleep, Chaim and I debriefed the harder parts of the day so that we could get back on the same page. Despite a parental miscommunication and the poor weather, we had a solid day exploring Hoi An.
The next morning was spent doing schoolwork. Chaim stayed home to oversee the boys’ schoolwork so that I could rest because I am still feeling exhausted. At about 2:00PM, I made a last second decision to take the boys to Mai Mia Art after it popped up on an Israeli travelers WhatsApp group I had joined. It was the art space’s last day before it closed its doors for good. There were so many rave reviews, and I didn’t have a plan so I figured “why not?” It was easily the best decision I’d made in days.
Finding Calm at Mia Mia Art and Closing with Gratitude
Mia Mia Art felt like another world. Tucked away on a small island, the grounds are set back against the river and deep in the woods. Picnic tables and open, white linen tents with floor seating were set up as painting stations. The boys chose a picnic table by the river. It was so serene and calm that we stayed almost four hours. We painted handheld fans, t-shirts, and canvases. Eitan even made a special painting to give Chuong. We all made some beautiful “oops”, which reminded us that after feeling disappointed we could still be flexible and creative. We acknowledged our mistakes and turned them into part of our art. The boys finished well before me. They played on the grounds with another visiting child while I finished my piece.
Before we left, the owners took us for a brief walk through the forest. We stopped at one of the tallest trees we’d ever seen. She explained that this was an eleven-year-old cotton seed tree. We were in awe of the fruit’s luxuriously soft cotton.
During the evening, we learned that Mia Mia Art was closing because the family had decided to move to a monastery to support their six-year-old daughter’s wishes to focus on meditation. For such a young person to know they want to study meditation and live an even quieter lifestyle is remarkable. None of the boys could fathom making that choice, but they were all impressed. We enjoyed Mia Mia Art so much, we hope it will reopen in the future for other families to share in the experience.
With wonder lingering in our minds, gratitude in our hearts, and calm settling into our bodies, we caught a Grab ride home. Finally, we had our first dinner and early bedtime in days.
Of course, communication was still a work in progress. Poor Chaim was stuck outside for an hour, unable to reach us because my weak Wi-Fi wouldn’t send a message that we were running late.
